i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
