Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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