I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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