I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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