Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
