Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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