She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
