someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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