So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
tell your sister to shave her snatch
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
