I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
