i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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