What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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