don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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