But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
