great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
