Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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