I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
