it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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