the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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