doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
