he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
