STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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