What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize