I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
