Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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