No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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