that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
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