Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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