I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Randomize
