what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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