U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
