I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
