For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
