you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
