Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Randomize
