none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
