i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
pray to the hookup gods
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
