That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
