we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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