tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
