; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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