I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
