Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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