Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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