I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
