we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
