good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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