Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Randomize
