either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
