I want to walk on stilts...naked
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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