so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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