absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
