and she was petting her beer can
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
