yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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