I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
