I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
