the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
