Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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